Lady Gaga is Celibate

Lady Gaga told reporters this week at a MAC cosmetic’s event in London that she is currently single and celibate.

According to the UK’s Mirror, Gaga said, “I haven’t got time to spend on the road and get to know anyone. … Even Lady Gaga can be celibate. You don’t have to have sex to be loved.”

So Gaga’s excuse for not having sex is that she is on tour and just too busy. This never seemed to stop Gene Simmons, David Lee Roth or Bret Michaels. Of course the fan base for Lady Gaga might not be the same. There may not be too many of her fans, many gay men, throwing their underwear on stage in hopes they will be brought backstage for a tumble on the tour bus.

But her excuse that she needs to “get to know” someone is super flimsy. This is the same girl who sings, “Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”

Lady Gaga sure has raised her standards to see her “Po po po poker face.”

Just last year Gaga only needed a “sick beat” before pouring liquid glow stick on a guy’s junk and going to town. Now, she is talking about love?

Maybe, just maybe, her doctor told her to abstain from sexual relations because her surgery is still healing.

Please note, this is only a theory and there are no facts to support it.

Type in the words Lady Gaga into a Google search and it automatically tries to finish your phrase. “Lady Gaga hermaphrodite.”

The rumor has been out there for a while, and was only fueled after a video was posted of her in concert wearing a skirt. For a split second her skirt rides up and something very visible, and flesh-colored, appears before she quickly pulls the skirt down.

She finally acknowledged the rumor when speaking with an Australian radio station and stated, “My beautiful vagina is very offended. I’m not offended; my vagina is offended.”

She never denied having a penis, just acknowledged that she has a “beautiful vagina.” Maybe she whispered, “And that beautiful vagina is sometimes covered up by a penis.”

A hermaphrodite has both. No one started a rumor that Lady Gaga is a guy; the rumor is that she has both a penis and a vagina. A disco stick and a disco cave.

The possibility that she had this removed grows greater with her change from crazy and wacky outfits — like the dead Kermit the Frog dress — to ones made from spandex that are so tight on her crotch that no one could claim she has a penis.

More Web sites have started to curtail the rumors by showing close up shots of her front and rear from the 2010 Grammy’s to prove that nothing has been tucked away.

But nothing has to be tucked away when it has been snipped away.

Posted on 03/11/10. Back To Blog - Tags: Lady Gaga, Sexy

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