A 24-year-old Taiwanese man is on his way to becoming the next Susan Boyle. Without the Internet, that sentence would never exist, but neither would Susan Boyle’s fame and next superstar Lin Yu Chun Sing. The Taiwanese man — who is being called a young boy by every news outlet that has picked up the story because no one even tries to do research anymore — belts out “I Will Always Love You” on the Asian talent show “Super Star Avenue.” Sing — a very convenient last name — does in fact look like he is 14-years-old with his bowl haircut and bright bowtie and this plays into the fact that he is being called the next Susan Boyle. Although he has incredible chops, and sings the Whitney Houston classic — written by Dolly Parton — amazingly, Sing will not become a superstar like Boyle did last year for several reasons.

1) He is not a fat, ugly, old woman. Boyle shocked the world because she was “The Ugly Duckling,” but instead of turning into a beautiful swan, she sang really well. She became a viral sensation because no one believed that a walrus could sing show tunes so beautifully. She showed the world how obsessed we are with looks, and that talent often plays second fiddle to a skinny waist and a nice rack. She went on to sell more than 3 million albums, second only to skinny but talented Taylor Swift. The story of “The Ugly Duckling” may not make the best metaphor since she is still very ugly. Rich and famous, but still pretty ugly.

2) The talent show is in Chinese, not English. We have no idea if this guy was laughed at before he performed like Boyle was. She stood on stage talking to the judges awkwardly flirting with Simon Cowell before belting out “I Dreamed a Dream.” We felt bad for her very quickly, and the table turned when we were all proven wrong. We have no idea what happened before or after the performance as most of the clips that can be seen on YouTube only show him singing the song.

3) There is already a Susan Boyle. As many artists as there are in the world, there does not seem to be much room for weird-looking people with great talent. We aren’t going to be fooled again like we were with Boyle. Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice — sure the shows are in two different countries but it is the same concept. No one on American Idol has made it big without looking sweet and cute. That doesn’t mean they can’t win, but they don’t become stars; see Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks. Sure, Sing will probably win the $1 million prize for this contest, but he will not become an Americanized star because …

4) … He is Asian. Asians do not become megastars in the United States unless they can dunk a basketball (Yao Ming), or perform their own stunts (Jackie Chan). It’s not racism, it’s math. With 4 billion Asians in the world, there seems to be only about three that are well known in the United States. That’s .00000000075% of the total population. The U.S. should gather up a few of our own no-talent stars —like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag — and trade them for people with talent like Lin Yu Chun Sing.

Sing will get millions of views on YouTube with his incredible voice, will become a star in Taiwan, and will make lots of money because of his beautiful singing. It just won’t transfer into album sales or superstardom in the U.S. like Susan Boyle has.

See More

• What happens when you stop trying to use sex to sell records??
• WEEKLY CD SALES REVIEW